No More Next Times

When I was at UVA-Wise, we had a rule that if you made a mistake you would say “next time”. This rule was to avoid us saying something more negative like “sorry” or “my bad”. I’ve carried “next time” with me since graduating, and I feel very lucky that I am still in the collegiate athletics space. When I work with students who are upset about a grade on an assignment, sometimes I’ll say something like “next time” to help encourage them. 

Earlier this year, I watched a student lose their “next time”. I sat with a co-worker (and dear friend); she pushed the door shut as I reflected. Wiping away a few tears I said, “being a college student-athlete was one of the hardest things I have ever done, but it was the privilege of a lifetime”. 

And then it hit me, in sports (and in life) we often believe there will be a “next time”. We will have another chance. We can make another mistake and there will still be grace. We will have another rep, another practice, another game. When in reality, we really don’t know if this time is a “next time” or the last time.

We make innumerable decisions every day – what to wear? Salad or Chik-fil-A? Get to the locker room early or show up just on time? Stretch and recover or go out? What we often fail to realize is every decision made has an impact on our “next time”. Some are positive and some are negative. There are even decisions that push our “next times” out of our hands and into someone else’s.

As an athlete, we spend countless hours and reps working on our form. By rep 1,000 maybe we finally get the footing down. At rep 10,000 we finally master the hand positioning. By rep 20,0000 we’ve leveled to add a fake and it all comes together. But at rep 20,001 an injury happens that delays (or entirely eliminates) a “next time”.

Our “next times” quickly became our last times, sometimes without us even knowing. 

Our next game was the last time.

Our next time having a team meal was the last time.

Our next time playing Nertz until ungodly hours was the last time.

Our next time in the weight room was the last time.

Our next time on a long bus trip was the last time.

Our next locker room dance party was the last time.

Our next late-night talk on the edge of a teammate’s bed was the last time.

I was emotional when chatting with my coworker and friend because it crushed me to see this person lose such an opportunity. My “next times” turned into my last times so incredibly quickly. 

It’s been 3.5 years since my “next times” became my last times and I miss it more than anything. I was blessed to have 4 full and (mostly) healthy years playing the game I love and pursuing a degree. Being a student-athlete was one of the greatest privileges of my lifetime. My only regret was getting so focused on “next time” that I looked beyond this time, and before I knew it, it was the last time.

What would you do differently if you knew this time wasn’t a “next time” but the last time?